Saturday, 9 June 2012

Chapter 10. Lies

Lies are fascinating because there are so many possibilities for invention and embellishment. In a liar's mouth, facts are no longer and predictable, but interesting and surprising. The sense of unlimited possibility is what lies have in common with another vice that most people find interesting: gossip. Gossip is interesting because what we hear and pass on to others may be the truth, but it could also be a wild fantasy; we are captivated by the very uncertainty of what we hear.In spite of the proverb, the truth is seldom as strange or interesting as fiction. Most of us don't want to know the painful facts about other people's lives. I often feel burdened when friends confide in me about their marriage problems, childhood traumas, or job dissatisfactions. Even though I try my best to console and reassure, I can't help wishing - selfishly - that my friends had told someone else. Most people feel the same way: hearing a confidence is a duty. When someone is a good confidante, we see that person as possessing a virtue.
Gossip is entirely different. There is nothing virtuous about engaging in gossip, but we enjoy it to the utmost. When someone tells us vague rumors about someone else's marriage problems, childhood secrets, or job scandals, our ears prick up. When the same information is told to us in confidence, we feel a sinking sense of duty. We listen silently and carefully, trying to think of the few right words to say and maybe getting a headache in the process. When the information is passed on to us as gossip, we jump into the conversation with gusto: nobody knows the truth anyway so we are free to offer our own theories, conjectures, and interpretations. We can talk all we want.

Kyoko Mori, Polite Lies

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