Subconscious Chaos

I always get jealous of people. Most often, it's for their looks, their brains, their talents, or their attitudes. But there's a difference between my kind of jealousy and the common kind. When I am jealous of someone, I don't say, "I hate so-and-so! They're so pretty/smart/funny." I do something about it (and I don't mean eliminate them so I have no competition).
I am constantly looking up to a handful of individuals, trying to change myself to resemble them in some way. My inspirations include Sungha Jung and Neil Pasricha, but the people that really affect me are those who go to my school, my friends. There are several girls who I am constantly jealous of and even some boys, for different reasons.
Today was one of those inspiring days. As our school handed out report cards for two terms, I was rather satisfied with mine, but seeing my average drop wasn't thrilling. Overall, I thought I did alright, but I didn't try all that hard this term, so I know I have to push the boundaries a little more this term. But then I saw the report card of a fellow classmate and my jaw practically hit the floor. His average was some percentages higher than mine, but what shocked me was that he got 100% in Chemistry class one and a half grades above his own level. One hundred percent. In both terms. But you know what? That's going to be me. Yup. Time to be the smart girl.
So why does seeing someone better inspire me?  I think it's got something to do with my optimistic outlook, and I consider myself lucky for it. I can look at Sungha Jung, and instead of saying "he is the reason I play the triangle", I say, "he is the reason I dusted off my guitar".